Sometimes I'd Rather be Alone.
As I've aged, I've become content in being by myself. I'm not sure if that's made me a bit off, or that I prefer to be alone because I'm a bit off. I noticed other members in my family have the same sort of issues, trusting only a few people to be close friends.
Not that I don't like to talk to others, and have a genuine concern for people. I do. But when it comes to parties, I seek the dark corners, the quiet room with the fireplace, or outside under the stars. Whenever I'm away from home I want to be home, and when I'm home I don't want to go anywhere, not even the grocery store. If I do get out for an appointment or something and then tell myself to do some shopping on the way home, I don't. I head right for home.
I think there are many more others like me. I think they spend their time being creative, exploring the universe through their thoughts and musings, through reading other people's thoughts, or listening to others make music or studying their art. There's a satisfaction that comes in that repose, when the busyness of every day life is left behind.
Barte son of Moshere
from Sword of Cho Nisi
"Even though he loved to show off his falcon during the games, he preferred to be alone with him in the woods. He trusted Allat as a friend, no one else. Who else was there? Not the noblemen of the court. He had assembled those rogues merely for political reasons—to execute the management of his vast holdings. When he was a child, they had power over his affairs. He had no use for them now. In fact, he might dismiss them all, soon.
Genuine friendships were inadmissible. No man, nor woman, held credibility. His deceased father taught him that. Barte son of Moshere, like his gyrfalcon, lived a solitary life. No one knew his secrets, and he would rather keep it that way."
Artwork by Mario Teodosio